You and Stress… A Story About Brains, Feelings, and Connection
”Children don’t need perfect adults. They need adults who understand what’s happening inside them.
Jacqueline TournierAuthor
When Two Brains Feel Too Much
Imagine a child whose emotions suddenly erupt — a slammed door, tears that spill over, a body that feels out of control.
Now imagine the adults beside them.
Their shoulders rise. Their breath shortens.
Because their brain reacts too.
Two nervous systems, both overwhelmed.
Two people who love each other, but who don’t understand what the other is going through.
This moment — this difficult, chaotic, very human moment — is what inspired You and Stress… The Brain Explained.
Who is Jacqueline Tournier
Jacqueline Tournier has been working at FlowinGrow since 2008 as a family therapist and child psychologist. There she makes her own, creative contribution to upbringing and learning processes, relationship and personal development.
Her biggest challenge?
Looking at what is difficult with compassion and then working in a solution-oriented way from the heart.
And that’s how the book ‘’You and stress… the brain explained’’ was created (in the dutch language). So many children were angry, sad and felt misunderstood, the parents not always knowing what to do.
The origin of the survival reactions
Through a simple explanation of the origin of the survival reactions in the book, Jacqueline helps parents and children to see that this often difficult behavior stems from an excess of overwheming feelings. The language of the owl, the dolphin and the crocodile and the exploding balloon was born.
In 2019, the first edition of the book was in the Netherlands. We are now in the fourth edition and almost 4000 copies have already been sold in the Netherlands and Belgium.
More about Jacqueline
Jacqueline is registered as a systemic therapist for family therapy and affiliated with the SKJ. She is also a Symbol Drama therapist, EFT basic certified and certified Heartmath coach. Jacqueline has studied stress and emotion regulation and attachment. The therapy often have to do with trauma, attachment, fear, anger, difficult behavior, problems within the family or relationship problems.
In addition to her work as a therapist, she is the author of ”You and stress… the brain explained” and provides training and lectures on stress and behavior, emotion regulation and stress regulation at schools and institutions. She has 3 adult children, the youngest of whom has Down syndrome: Sterre. She uses this experience as a strength: thinking in terms of possibilities instead of limitations.
Her style is described as compassionate, connecting and solution-oriented: first understand, then move. Not primarily focused on what is “wrong”, but on what is possible.
Children don’t need perfect adults. They need adults who understand what’s happening inside them.
So she decided to create a tool that translated complex brain science into simple, colourful, child-friendly language — something playful, something visual, something real.
You and Stress… The Brain Explained
is not just a book.
It’s a book to Bring you together
- It is a conversation starter.
- A bridge between two worlds: the adult world and the child world.
Jacqueline carefully crafted each page to help you:
- understand what stress does inside the brain,
- recognize the stress behavior that comes from overwhelm,
- learn how to calm your own system first,
- and guide your child back to safety and connection.
The illustrations bring the science to life — swirling thoughts, racing neurons, hot feelings — all drawn in a way children instantly recognize.
- The adult section explains emotional regulation in a clear, accessible way.
- The child section turns brain science into a friendly guide to feelings.
And then there is the workbook, accessible via a QR code — a place where children can practise skills, reflect on their emotions, and build real tools they can use in everyday life.
Ine Hubers a Dutch therapist who lives and works in the US also bought the book and she was the intention to translate it for the English market.
watch her reference video
The Heart of the Story
At its core, this book is about understanding.
- Understanding yourself.
- Understanding your child.
- Understanding how stress travels between people — and how compassion brings it back down.
Jacqueline believes that when adults and children share the same language for stress and emotions, something magical happens:
- conflicts become conversations
- outbursts become signals
- stress becomes something you face together, not alone
The book doesn’t promise a life without stress.
But it does promise this:
When you understand the brain, you understand the feelings. And when you understand the feelings, you understand each other.
A Book to Bring You Together
